the harmonica fiend

 

Eating instant noodles
Type: Shuffle in Eb a la "Greenbacks" and "The quide song"
Written on October 3, 2004

Comments: A tribute to Ray Charles and Bill Heid. A song with rap intro and a content that targets female impatience in a relationship.

(Rap)
Last night my baby left me for another man
She said, "I'm thru with you now I can do wa ht I can."
She said, "You're like instant noodles I can eat you when I want
When I'm done with you I'm gonna pack up and gone."

(Chorus)
You're eating instant noodles (x3)
And you're so mean to me

(Rap)
Pretty darling why don't you reconsider baby
Why do you have to leave me in such a hurry
All this time we've had nothing but laughs and fun
Why do you see me and get up and run?

It's been three months since you've written and called
I thought I was gonna run into you in the shopping mall
All of a sudden you gave me a call
And said, "honey daddy I love you most of all."

Cicadas in my backyard
Type: Shuffle Blues in G
Written on May 24, 2004

Comments: Inspired by the ugly cicadas that only come every 17 years and die in the backyards.

Cicadas in my backyard
They're all over hill (x2)
I feel nothing about them
Cuz they give me the chills

They come every 17 years
And they make that nasty noise (x2)
The girls in the neighborhood love'em
But they sure scare all the boys

They bang against my windshield
They fall in front of my sight (x2)
My baby say I'm crazy
Say I'm outta mind outta sight

Cicadas in my backyard
My baby in her car
Say you ain't nothing
Say you ain't no rock star
Cicadas in my backyard
My baby fuss and fight
She says I'm so crazy
I'm outta mind outta sight

Cicadas are so ugly
But some people find them cute (x2)
My baby left me this morning
To me it's like blowing a fuse

Blues For Adam
Type: Slow Blues in G
Written on May 13, 2004

Comments: I wrote this after learning that my great friend Adam Rayman died in a car accident. I'm still in pain.

You told me you were going to New Jersey
I said I'll string along with you (x2)
But I never knew you were gone so soon
When I'm writing this sad, sad tune

I wasn't being a good friend
It's my fault that we drifted apart (x2)
It's too late to say I'm sorry
Well you know it just breaks my heart

I miss those 5-minute introductions
I miss those lowdown Ledbetter days (x2)
I miss our stupid discussions
And I miss your mysterious ways

You know everyone's crying
But everyone's so brave and strong (x2)
You have that effect on people
And I'm gonna sing it in a song

Sometimes I wonder
Why do the good die young? (x2)
You can say it's God's plan
But bad luck and trouble go round and round

Life isn't always fair
You should never assume it is (x2)
I just lost my best friend
And I've got nothing to say about this

You Dig!
Type: Shuffle in Eb
Written on Mar 19, 2004

Comments: In honor of Bill Heid. But this song's really about me. Enjoy the lyrics.

You said you love the blues
But You never come to my gigs (x2)
You don't have to say you love me
All you have to say is "You Dig!"

You can find me at Ledbetter
Almost every Saturday night (x2)
You oughtta read my newsletter
And check out my website

My name is Son-nn-nn-y Boy (x2)
The blues is my only lover
The blues is my pride and joy

You dig, you dig
Oh-oh you dig (x2)
You don't have to say you love me
When Bill Heid says "You Dig"

I Want an Underwear Model
Type: Blues in A (Hoochie Coochie Man)
Written on Mar 17, 2004

Comments: Started off as a joke w/ my co-workers when they ask me what kinda women I wanna marry, then I gave serious thoughts about writing a song. Dedicated to Harry Connick Jr.

Breaks (On 1 thruout)
I have a good life
with lots of hugs and kissing
I think to myself
What am I missing
I pray to the Lord
Say you owe me one thing
If I don't have that
My life won't have no meaning

I want an underwear model (x3)
to fall in love with me

(back to breaks)
I've dated many girls in my lifetime
and I love them all
I think of them from time to time
sometimes I even call
but there's one kind of girl
I've never dated before
That's the kinda girl
I'll always cry for more

I want an underwear model (x3)
to be my wife

(back to breaks)
I take her to the supermarket
I take her to the pool
I take her to the post office
I even take her to school
Everyone stares at me
and wonder who the hell am I
Well, needless to say
I'm the coolest guy alive

I love my underwear model (x3)
Cuz she keeps me satisfied

Before I Met My baby
Type: Shuffle blues in A (Like Before You Accuse Me)
Written on Mar 17, 2004

Comments: Part tribute to Muddy Water's "She's 19 Years Old," part inspiration from a girl I know. But it's really an ode to lost youth and people who didn't have a youth due to their extreme circumstances.

Before I met my baby
I was really growing old (x2)
Since I met my baby
My age stays 20 years old

Before I met my baby
I was far away from the truth (x2)
Since I met my baby
It's time to blame it on my youth

(Breaks)
She drinks the right coffee
She eats the right food
Her smilin' face puts me in a chippy mood
Before I met my baby
I was far away from the truth
Since I met my baby
It's time to blame it on my youth

My baby she's 19 years old
She got her way like a baby child (x2)
I already lost my youth baby
I don't wanna lose my baby child

(Breaks)
She watch the right movies
She read the right books
But she'll never let me
off the hook
My baby she's 19 years old
She got her way like a baby child
I already lost my youth baby
I don't wanna lose my baby child

It's Hard Being a Woman
Type: Blues in A (Drums: Tang...Tang...Tang...like jazzy Joe Williams-style)
Written on Jan 2, 2004

Comments: My experience (real & exaggerated) about living in America for more than 10 years. I think racial discrimination is eminent.

It's hard being a woman
It's harder being an Asian man (x2)
I have it rough in this country
Baby I'm just doing I can

I get rejected by supermodels
I get rejected by (homely) country girls (x2)
I even get rejected by my own people
They say I'm on the wrong side of the world

I get yelled at by cab drivers
I get yelled at by nasty cops (x2)
I think all cab drivers are one person
His name is called "Some kind of pup"

(Chorus)
I come here for an education
And just a little action
All I end up getting is
Racial discrimination
It's hard being a woman
It's harder being an Asian man (x2)
I have it rough in this country
Baby I'm just doing I can

They say b/c you're Asian
There's no way you can play the blues (x2)
They send me thousands of e-mail
Telling me to cut myself lose

Trust Your Instincts
Type: Blues in A (Hoochie Coochie Meets Love her W/ a Feeling)
Written on Dec 8, 2003

Comments: Dedicated to mym dear friend Ed Mattiuzzi who is moving to England for love. He trusts his instincts. Contrariwise, another friend of mine doesn't trust his instincts and ends up losing those who used to care for him.

You say I'm perceptive
You say I'm introspective
I gotta use contraceptive
Nothing's gonna change my perspective

(Chorus)
You gotta trust your instincts (x3)
Or trust nothing at all

You say you want information
You say you want satisfaction
You say you want a resolution
(Or You want me to have circumcision)
Life is full of contradictions

Chorus

Does he love you with a feeling?
Does he give you all his blessings?
If he breaks your heart in the morning
I'm gonna take care of you in the evening

Cuz I trust my instincts (x3)
because I'm so in love with you

Is There Pork In it?
Type: Minor Blues in E (like Help Me)
Written on Nov 4, 2003

Comments: Churned out 3 songs in one day. I'm inspired. This song is dedicated to a friend of mine who asks the question "Is there pork in it?" in every restaurant including Vegetarian Garden. I am annoyed. Hence my outlet.

(Chorus)
Is there pork in it (x4)
I want fries with it
But I want no pork in my beef

I want no pork in my tomatoes
I want no pork in my potatoes
I want no pork in my Cheerios
I want no pork in my clothes

(Chorus)

I want no pork in my papaya
I want no pork in my pajamas
I want no pork in my cherry jar
I want no pork in my car

(Chorus)

Love My Jewish Woman
Type: Slow Blues in A
Written on Nov 4, 2003

Comments: Well, I often fantasizing going out with a Jewish girl. I think the stereotypes are true to an extent. if not, then correct me.

I'm in love with a Jewish woman
But she treats me like a Gentile (x2)
She hates dirty and lowdown fellas
Vagabonds and pedophiles

Her folks don't seem to like me
Say I don't know Jerusalem (x2)
They said if you want to marry our daughter
You gotta convert to Judaism

I start going to the temple
Take a front row seat in the synagogue (x2)
I try talking to the rabbi
But just can't start a dialogue

(Chorus)
I go to her cousin's bar mitzvah
Fast during Passover
I even give up Christmas
And celebrate the Hanukah
She says I got no chutzpah
Cuz I ain't no Jewish guy
But I love my Jewish woman
Baby till the day I die

I gave up eating cheeseburgers
Eat matzos all day long (x2)
I love my Jewish woman
Why don't we all just get along

That Extra Toothbrush
Type: Slow Blues in Bb (Freddie King style)
Written on Nov 4, 2003

Comments: The aftermath of a breakup - there's always that extra toothbrush!

Have you ever been in love before
You know it hurts, it hurts so bad (x2)
If you ever break my heart again
I'm gonna move to Trinidad

Why can't girls wait for the right guy?
They always seem to be in a rush (x2)
When all is said and done
There's always that extra toothbrush

I put the toothbrush in the toilet
And tears begin to fill my eyes (x2)
If I flush away our relationship
What comes to haunt me is my foolish pride

I don't miss my baby anymore
Except during Thanksgiving and Christmas (x2)
I got myself a Christmas present
It's a brand new, battery-operated toothbrush

Why can't girls wait for the right guy?
They always seem to be in a rush
Why do girls eat guys like instant noodles?
They always seem to be in a rush
When everything is said and done
There's always that extra toothbrush

No one's gonna help you if you don't help yourself
Type: Slow Blues in G
Written on Oct 5, 2003

Comments: After losing to Melanie Mason Band, coupled with numerous conversations I have had with Bill Heid, the nature of the blues business is rather cruel. You need to persist to survive. It's not about talent.

No one is gonna help you in this business
If you don't help yourself (x2)
If you don't get your name out there
The big time operators are gonna shove you on the shelf

It's all about image in this business
You don't need real talent to play the blues (x2)
With all the midgetation out there
It's sure gonna cut you loose

There are no real friends in this business
And no real enemies too (x2)
We're all trying to make a living
And feed our family too

This is a dog eat dog world
And dogs not returning other dogs' phone calls (x2)
I've been in this business long enough
And I can tell I've seen it all

Nutella Nutella
Type: Medium Blues in A
Written on Oct 4, 2003

Comments: I have often loved nutella on crepes. So this song is inspired by Taj Mahal's "Ludella" and Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction. Dissecting the cultural differences between the French and Americans.

Nutella, Nutella,
I like you more than peanut butter (x2)
The French loves you on their food
Cuz you make it taste so much better

In Europe they don't call it quarter pounder with cheese
B/c of the metric system (x2)
They call it royale with cheese
It's sure gonna fuck up my immune system

Americans dip French fries with ketchup
The French find it so disgusting (x2)
The French dip their fries with mayonnaise
I find it so sickening

I love a cream cheese bagel
Belgian waffles with toast
French fries and bacon
And Oatmeal on my sour dough
But I don't like it as much as Nutella, Nutella
I like you more than peanut butter
The French loves you on their food
Cuz you make it taste so much better

Premature Mid-life Crisis
Type: Slow blues in G
Written on Sept. 28, 2003

Commentary: Another song when I'm having fun with the lyrics. This seems like poetry to me now. I love the line "I'll go to her cousin's bar mitzvah/And decorate her Christmas tree."

I'm having mid-life crisis
But I'm only 25 (x2)
When I saw that pretty young girl
I said oh my, oh my, oh my

I wanna buy a brand new Porsche
But I ain't got no saving account (x2)
That's why I go to the playground
And take a ride on the Merry-Go-Round

My baby she's 19 years old
And she drives me up the walls (x2)
But she can't have enough of me
She evens rocks me in the bathroom stall

I don't wanna be the one
I just wanna be one of the three (x2)
I'll go to her cousin's bar mitzvah
And decorate her Christmas tree

Age is not so important
if the feeling is right (x2)
I'm having a mid-life crisis
Cuz she's so young, so fine, so tight

Please Don't Break My Balls
Type: Medium Swing Blues in E
Written on Sept. 21, 2003

Commentary: Another vicious, lyrical jump blues to reveal the vulnerability of relationships.

You can break my heart, baby
But please don't break my balls (x2)
If you eat me like instant noodles
We ain't gonna have fun at all

My feelings aren't important
As my dignity (x2)
So you can say you hate me
But don't ever say you don't love me

I'm a much stronger person
Than I was once before (x2)
Relationships have put me
On the forefront of the gender war

Love is like a double-decker bus
It goes up and down (x2)
Sometimes you think it's up baby
It's down and off the ground

Don't Throw Me in the Garbage Can
Type: Slow Blues in A (Like How Blue Can You Get)
Written on Sept.17, 2003

Commentary: Just a slow, vicious blues to express the feeling of being dumped. This is not autobiographical.

You can do anything to me baby
But don't throw me in the garbage can (x2)
Please love me with all your might
And tell everybody I'm your man

I've been in the garbage can before
You know how much it stinks inside (x2)
If you throw me in there again
I'd rather drink rat poison and die

(Breaks)
I wanna be a good boyfriend
But you want more than that
You want me to be your slave
And buy you a brand new cadillac

You can do anything to me baby
But don't throw me in the garbage can
I run out of garbage bags baby
Please don't throw me in the garbage can

Sometimes Them Things
Type: Boogie woogie in F
Written on Sept.15, 2003

Commentary: After Johnny Cash past away last week, I'd been trying to pay a tribute. At last, I wrote this song to celebrate the great rock n'roll music of the 50's. And it's a feel-good tune, too.

(Chorus)
Sometimes them things will turn out be alright (x2)
And if you don't come back
I won't have to fuss and fight

Sometimes them things will turn out be okay (x2)
And if you don't come back
I'm gonna get out of my way

Sometimes your woman
She loves you like a rock (x2)
You gotta do the twist
And rock around the clock

Paul Anka's got Diana
Little Richard's got Lucille (x2)
You gotta love Fats Domino
He's going up to Blueberry Hill

Mr. Eddie Cochran
He's got the summertime blues
Mr. Buddy Holly
He's in love with Peggy Sue
Your friend Carl Perkins
He's stepping on his blue suede shoes

(Chorus)
I'm walking
I'm talking (x2)
I'm walking, talking Boogie woogie all night along.

Play That Mississippi Saxophone
Type: Shuffle in D
Written on Aug 05, 2003

Commentary: This song is a response to all the unsolicited criticism I've gotten lately. For the record, I play the blues for my own personal growth and the audience's enjoyment, and I don't play for nobody else.

C'mon Sonny Boy
Play that Mississippi saxophone (x2)
I want you to play the blues
Play that sweet, sweet tone

Some people criticize me
Say I ain't no Sonny Boy (x2)
All I have to say
The blues is my pride and joy

Chorus (sing-along)
I play the blues for me
I play the blues for you (x2)
I play the blues for me and you
I don't play for nobody else